so i used to have an old blog. when it got mysteriously got hijacked and removed, i accepted it as my time being over. my stories were done.
pfffft. right. i maybe doing 2 posts a day b/c i have alot to say and i can't seem to stop.
BUT - to warn you now, i have had a pretty tough day at work and the usual side effect is me cussing like a sailor. not ladylike, not feminine, i now my mother is rocking in the corner somewhere as i spew out some of my finest slang dirty words.
oh why can't i stop?! why does it seem to make me feel better.
i wish there was a song with a beautiful melody that would allow me to sing the f'bomb as sweetly as possilbe...so i could get away with it. (it's all in the delivery anyways...right?)
i just needed to take a moment to say again. i'm not perfect. i cuss when stressed, drink too much at happy hours, when someone takes a picture of me 85% of the time my eyes will be closed, when pulling my hair back i found one too many gray hairs for my comfort zone..i contemplated crying, but decided to watch the golden girls instead, and i wish i could eat candy everyday for breakfast instead of egg whites.
as i leave work today, i will attempt to improve upon myself and say fricken ------ instead of the other one. baby steps now, baby steps.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
isn't it hard?
when first asked by a stranger "what i do for a living?" i reply: oncology nurse. within a nanosecond most people respond with "oh that must be sad".
it is sad, it is hard. it is cancer for goodness sake. you think these patients want to be here getting treated with poison to kill the living poison in their bodies? no.
but let me tell you why i like it....
here are some cool things i know about patients, other than their cancer;
1. one who openly tells everyone that she smokes weed, always asked me for a handful of
purple gloves before she leaves from her appointment. why? i have never asked, but she
always has a permagrin when she comes in, so why should i mess with the system? i just smile
and give her a vat of gloves.
2. their families - how long they have been married, why they choose their spouse, why they
still love them. their kids - where they are in college or school and why they are proud of
them. fun conversations and you really get to know these people. seeing them as the human
being that they are and not just "a patient"
3. books, vacations and restuarant ideas. i have been to a great italian restaurant in philly,
scooped out Kilkenny ireland and read the Hisotorian...all from patient requests. i have eaten
the biggest meatballs on earth, toured the cutest irish village and read a great book just b/c
of them. who is helping who sometimes?
4. they are funny. seriously funny. alot of them have a great, dry or sarcastic remark to give
regarding the ridiculousness of their treatments. they laugh, i laugh and if we can remove the
stick up some of the doctor's butts..they might laugh sometimes too.
5. emails. i love their emails. sometimes they just send one to tell me something. i got one last
year entitled "fairy tale" which went on to tell me how the patient and her husband meet, how
their marriage is that one written in books...going 10+ years and how they love to cook
together. she then said " i have learned to look for the things to love in my husband, not his
shortcomings." (mental note, look for things i love in others and stop bitching so much)
these are just a few of the things i love about my job. i do love helping them, giving them support, laughing, listening and hugging.
so yeah cancer sucks and the job is hard at times. but for more reasons than listed here, i do love my connection to all the great people i meet.
it is sad, it is hard. it is cancer for goodness sake. you think these patients want to be here getting treated with poison to kill the living poison in their bodies? no.
but let me tell you why i like it....
here are some cool things i know about patients, other than their cancer;
1. one who openly tells everyone that she smokes weed, always asked me for a handful of
purple gloves before she leaves from her appointment. why? i have never asked, but she
always has a permagrin when she comes in, so why should i mess with the system? i just smile
and give her a vat of gloves.
2. their families - how long they have been married, why they choose their spouse, why they
still love them. their kids - where they are in college or school and why they are proud of
them. fun conversations and you really get to know these people. seeing them as the human
being that they are and not just "a patient"
3. books, vacations and restuarant ideas. i have been to a great italian restaurant in philly,
scooped out Kilkenny ireland and read the Hisotorian...all from patient requests. i have eaten
the biggest meatballs on earth, toured the cutest irish village and read a great book just b/c
of them. who is helping who sometimes?
4. they are funny. seriously funny. alot of them have a great, dry or sarcastic remark to give
regarding the ridiculousness of their treatments. they laugh, i laugh and if we can remove the
stick up some of the doctor's butts..they might laugh sometimes too.
5. emails. i love their emails. sometimes they just send one to tell me something. i got one last
year entitled "fairy tale" which went on to tell me how the patient and her husband meet, how
their marriage is that one written in books...going 10+ years and how they love to cook
together. she then said " i have learned to look for the things to love in my husband, not his
shortcomings." (mental note, look for things i love in others and stop bitching so much)
these are just a few of the things i love about my job. i do love helping them, giving them support, laughing, listening and hugging.
so yeah cancer sucks and the job is hard at times. but for more reasons than listed here, i do love my connection to all the great people i meet.
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